mystery is sexy


	where does a motherfucker cross the unclefucking line? [8.9.2001 * 9:48 am] It has been called to my attention that in Pulp Fiction, Samuel L. Jackson's favorite word is "motherfucker," and that film only received an R rating. Now I am confused. What DOES it take to receive an NC-17 rating? And why would the South Park movie have to make up a song about unclefuckers rather than motherfuckers if not to appease the motherfucker clause of the R rating? Let us go straight to the source. "On November 1, 1968, the MPAA rating system, which we utilize to this day, was born. "With a board of 8 to 13 members whose qualifications include having been a parent, being able to put themselves in the role of most American parents, and finally possessing 'an intelligent maturity,' movies are voluntarily submitted for review with fees being charged to the producers for the board's services. "And while Valenti is proud to note that the MPAA ratings board has never bowed to pressure from studios to revise a rating, it certainly isn't because of a lack of opportunity to do so. Not unlike the Hays' Production Code era, studios and movie creators continually hound the MPAA for ratings revisions -- usually hoping for a more lenient classification that will allow teen dollars to flood the box office." All of this, in my humble opinion, is bullshit. First of all, it's a fucking fact that money talks, and if the MPAA is being paid to rate movies, there's no question in my mind that a "better" rating can be bought. Now, I went to the MPAA website, and they give no criteria for how they hand down movie ratings. But if these ratings are being decided upong by people who are parents with "an intelligent maturity," I think there's a problem. The article goes on to say that the ratings weren't devised to placate critics, but rather to protect parents. Protect parents from what? From making their own decisions? From the responsibility involved in parenting? From the heat of being labelled negligent and moronic for bringing babies to films like The Cell? I don't get it. Next up, I found a story on CNN telling me that the Senate is going to step in and judge whether or not the ratings system should be revised. "Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, offered four proposals aimed at improving the nation's entertainment ratings system: -- Ratings systems should develop clear and comprehensible standards, accessible to parents and consumers. -- Ratings and labeling decisions should be made by an independent body. -- Entertainment companies should make ratings and labeling decision process open to public scrutiny. -- More information on content should be available, rather than relying on age-based ratings alone." I think I would agree with those suggestions. I mean, if the Internet has failed me and I can't even find out how films acquire their ratings, then what the hell am I supposed to think? Obviously they're arbitrary decisions handed down by prudes, puritans, and people who can't take a joke. South Park, ostensibly just a cartoon movie that you'd take your kids to, was rated R. People complained about it because they figured cartoons = G or PG at the most. Final Fantasy was rated PG13 "for sci-fi action violence." And I sure as hell wouldn't take a kid to that movie because it's too adult for their minds. Christ, I cried at that movie. Do you think a kid is going to sit still for a mushy movie with relationships amidst catastrophe and amazing visual effects? Maybe I don't give the youth of today enough credit, but I just don't imagine that they can appreciate it. And yeah, I guess there might have been enough "sci-fi action violence" to appease the 12 year old boys in the crowd who would cheer every time a character was impaled by a spirit, but man, that's not the point of the movie. Anyway, my main point is that ratings are bizarre and otherworldly, and thank god I'm finally an adult in the eyes of the law so I can see any violent and/or dirty piece of crap I want, no questions asked, eh? CREDITS: powered by d*land

where does a motherfucker cross the unclefucking line?
[8.9.2001 * 9:48 am]

It has been called to my attention that in Pulp Fiction, Samuel L. Jackson's favorite word is "motherfucker," and that film only received an R rating. Now I am confused. What DOES it take to receive an NC-17 rating? And why would the South Park movie have to make up a song about unclefuckers rather than motherfuckers if not to appease the motherfucker clause of the R rating?

Let us go straight to the source.

"On November 1, 1968, the MPAA rating system, which we utilize to this day, was born.

"With a board of 8 to 13 members whose qualifications include having been a parent, being able to put themselves in the role of most American parents, and finally possessing 'an intelligent maturity,' movies are voluntarily submitted for review with fees being charged to the producers for the board's services.

"And while Valenti is proud to note that the MPAA ratings board has never bowed to pressure from studios to revise a rating, it certainly isn't because of a lack of opportunity to do so. Not unlike the Hays' Production Code era, studios and movie creators continually hound the MPAA for ratings revisions -- usually hoping for a more lenient classification that will allow teen dollars to flood the box office."

All of this, in my humble opinion, is bullshit. First of all, it's a fucking fact that money talks, and if the MPAA is being paid to rate movies, there's no question in my mind that a "better" rating can be bought. Now, I went to the MPAA website, and they give no criteria for how they hand down movie ratings. But if these ratings are being decided upong by people who are parents with "an intelligent maturity," I think there's a problem. The article goes on to say that the ratings weren't devised to placate critics, but rather to protect parents. Protect parents from what? From making their own decisions? From the responsibility involved in parenting? From the heat of being labelled negligent and moronic for bringing babies to films like The Cell? I don't get it.

Next up, I found a story on CNN telling me that the Senate is going to step in and judge whether or not the ratings system should be revised.

"Sen. Sam Brownback, R-Kansas, offered four proposals aimed at improving the nation's entertainment ratings system:

-- Ratings systems should develop clear and comprehensible standards, accessible to parents and consumers.

-- Ratings and labeling decisions should be made by an independent body.

-- Entertainment companies should make ratings and labeling decision process open to public scrutiny.

-- More information on content should be available, rather than relying on age-based ratings alone."

I think I would agree with those suggestions. I mean, if the Internet has failed me and I can't even find out how films acquire their ratings, then what the hell am I supposed to think? Obviously they're arbitrary decisions handed down by prudes, puritans, and people who can't take a joke. South Park, ostensibly just a cartoon movie that you'd take your kids to, was rated R. People complained about it because they figured cartoons = G or PG at the most. Final Fantasy was rated PG13 "for sci-fi action violence." And I sure as hell wouldn't take a kid to that movie because it's too adult for their minds. Christ, I *cried* at that movie. Do you think a kid is going to sit still for a mushy movie with relationships amidst catastrophe and amazing visual effects? Maybe I don't give the youth of today enough credit, but I just don't imagine that they can appreciate it. And yeah, I guess there might have been enough "sci-fi action violence" to appease the 12 year old boys in the crowd who would cheer every time a character was impaled by a spirit, but man, that's not the point of the movie.

Anyway, my main point is that ratings are bizarre and otherworldly, and thank god I'm finally an adult in the eyes of the law so I can see any violent and/or dirty piece of crap I want, no questions asked, eh?