NaNo rolls on, and I am stuck. I should have 25,000 words by now, but I have run out of ideas. What more can I do with two characters? How the fuck do I introduce new characters? Where the bloody hell is this runaway train going? How can I stop doing so much goddamn DIALOGUE?!?

CF just called a while ago to inform me that it looks like the caf� is being cased for another robbery. Great. I hope they don't plan on using another junkie as a diversion. I asked if this meant I might not want to be there during closings, just in case, and suggested that I might just go to another caf� on the block that's open 24 hours.

But, shit man, what if something DOES happen? What if the store gets robbed and it's on his shift? It's more than likely that it will be, since he closes most nights. That scares me. I wouldn't even know what to do in such a situation, and I think I might end up getting shot if the fuckers had guns. I don't even want to think about that happening to my boyfriend. I know he's good in a crisis and doesn't put up with shit, but it's still a scary thought.

I really hope that the warning signs are wrong. He said a bunch of people just came in, looked around, and left without buying anything, and they looked pretty sketchy. Perhaps they were caught on tape, but obviously you can't arrest people just for looking sketchy. You have to wait until they do it.

If they only knew that that particular location makes the least money of all the locations in Qu�bec...

But of course they don't, they judge based on the size of the place and the image it presents. The area is rather sketchy in itself, as there are people hanging out at the metro asking if you need or want anything, apparently so you can then go shoot up in the bathroom at the caf�. At the same time, yeah, that street gets a lot of traffic from tourists and students. Two people had their wallets stolen this week; another sign.

It'd be nice if we could all just have everything we needed, but life isn't like that. I just wish that people would stop trying to get ahead by fucking over other people. What sense does it make to steal money from a caf�, anyway? You'd make more stealing from a gas station, or a bar, or a club, or private fucking home. If you steal something from a caf�, it should be food and drink. That at least makes sense to me. I guess I just don't have the mind of a criminal. I guess I just wish people weren't so fucked up that they thought drugs were the answer, and that stealing to get more drugs was justified and necessary. That's the only thing people ever seem to rob for (not counting money-laundering and white-collar sorts of theft, I mean); at least be original and say you did it because you needed the tuition money, guys.

It just makes me feel helpless sometimes, knowing that there are people who are casing the place and plotting while I am innocently drinking a cup of coffee. Why? How can you spend so much time trying to mastermind a fiendish plot when all that energy could be put into, say, trying to find a job or better yourself or get ahead legally?

I just don't understand. People never cease to mystify me, usually with their cruelty or stupidity.

(Also, I wish I had a writing friend that could give me better advice than, 'Just keep at it.' I need some serious pointers here.)

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