[3.29.2003 * 9:58 pm] I have a confession to make: Tonight at the video store I put in Jackass: The Movie. Even worse: I laughed. Now, I missed actually seeing this one except for the opening lines, but it sure was weird: 'Hi. I'm Henry Rollins and this is "Off-Road Tattoo."' Henry is driving some Humvee-esque vehicle through very bumpy desert terrain. In the meantime, one of the Jackasses is getting a tattoo in the backseat. Now, I know Henry hasn't been the, um, choosiest (ahem, Johnny Mnemonic) when it comes to filmic roles, but Jackass: The Movie? Henry!! Just FYI: getting a tattoo in an off-road vehicle driven by Henry Rollins -- while it may make for a great story -- is not the ideal way to get your tattoo. Tonight, someone came in to complain and return one portion of The Sopranos, Season Three. Now, perhaps you are not familiar with boxed sets, or perhaps you were not aware that The Sopranos comes in boxed sets. In any case, it does, and boxed sets generally are quite large, right? They have the complete season of episodes, each of which are undoubtedly somewhere between 30-60 minutes, as most television shows are. If you are following this, you would probably guess that if there are 4 discs per season, you cannot watch all 4 in one night, which is the allotted amount of time per rental. If you are following this, you would probably guess that we rent the discs separately rather than all at once. This guy, despite the four green tags on the box signifying that each tag was for one disc of the season specified, thought that we had four copies of the entire third season, each rented on one disc. He was upset because he didn't get 'the entire third season' as 'falsely advertised' on the box. I told him that we, the video store, did not write the copy on that box. He still maintains that it's false advertising, and also that he used to be 'in the business' and that therefore he knows better than me or my manager how things should be rented. I just have to wonder sometimes where these people come from. Would *you* sit down and watch an entire season of *anything* in one night? Okay, maybe you'd try, but you'd probably come up short and still be wearing your pajamas the next day. Oi. Finally, I spoke to a complete stranger on the phone for about 15 minutes. He was giving me some nonsense about how the 'hi, how are you doing?' is always fake, so I was trying to be nice and he was asking me about the new videos and which I could actually recommend, blah blah. Then he asked if we had an adult section, to which I said yes, and he wanted to know about all the selections. Not being terribly familiar with every selection, I told him about a few of the DVDs. He started yammering on and on about various shots and wasn't I a big fan of the one where he's doing her doggy style and the camera is underneath him looking up, extreme close up? At this point, I said, 'Sir, was there any particular reason you were calling?' He said he just wanted to know about the new selections, so I told him all the new releases and asked if there was anything else. He said he just wanted to talk, and I said I really had to go reshelve some movies now, have a nice night, buh-bye. What a bunch of weirdos. So, yeah, I watched Jackass: The Movie (the guys dressing up as pandas and running around Tokyo was kind of amusing), got shite from a dumbass customer about how it's not worth it to watch the entire season of The Sopranos at his leisure because they're playing it on TV (uh, so why'd you rent it in the first place, bub?), and talked to a guy who wanted to discuss the angles of cum shots. Just another day in the life.
CREDITS: |