Allow me to be the first to say it: Happy freakin' Valentine's Day.

Today I am going to be running errands like taking Earl to Jiffy Lube and buying food for myself and the naughty kitten. But right now I need a V-Day theme, so I thought "Hey, I've never regaled them with my sexual escapades!" Of course, I've never really HAD any sexual escapades. So what I'm left with is describing my sexual fantasies to you, the Diaryland public at large. For those of you who are under 18, now is the time to switch over to a more adolescent-friendly site. No offense; I just don't want to get sued by your well-meaning (albeit sexually Puritan) parents. Mmmmkay?

Now then, let's see... for some time now I have been thinking "Hot damn, someone needs to fuck me up against a wall." Sadly, I don't think there are any free walls in my apartment. There is just the door, which looks splintery. But hey, that's why this is a fantasy.

Secondly, I should DEFINITELY get laid on Eddie's Parade before graduation. Preferably when it's slightly above freezing, cus who wants to fuck in the cold? I just like the thought of Security freaking out and trying to cart us away while we orgasm on the lawn. What, like cum is going to kill the grass? I suggested the other day that I need to fuck on Eddie's Parade to raise consciousness on campus about the fact that Fordham students fuck. The Jesuits are in denial, the health center refuses to distribute condoms, and where else are we gonna fuck between 3 and 5 am? Hell, there should be FREE FUCKIN' LOVE on Eddie's Parade at all hours of the day and night. Now THAT would be groovy. That's probably my most grandiose fantasy. No orgies involving multiple partners, mind you -- just lots of people getting it on where sheep once grazed. Ooh baby.

What else? Oh yes, and I must get screwed in the shower more often. And in hot tubs or swimming pools. And in the ocean. And on the beach. Just call me a mermaid and get me damp. But please, no underwater kissing. I'll get water up my nose, and that's not a pretty sight.

I would also like to shoot some pool, become rowdy with my cue, and get bent over the table.

But really, I enjoy fucking on a bed. It's comfortable, there are blankets to crawl under, and you can snuggle afterwards as you drift off to sleep. So while exotic modes of fucking are desirable, just plain ol' fucking is also quite good.

I'm still not sure about getting tied up, and it doesn't really thrill me to have someone else tied up. So I guess I'm not really an S&M kind of girl. Though Fex said he liked to think of me as a Mardi Gras queen, whatever that means. Perhaps it is just about flashing my tits. Which I may decide to do tomorrow on a whim. I was going to wear my hot pink sexy dress, but perhaps I will save that for the weekend. Like he cares what I'm wearing anyway? If only it were warmer, goddammit! I want to be a tank top wearing minx again.

And maybe, just maybe, I will chop all my hair off to pixie length again. But I will definitely dye it some crazy colors first.

Happy V-Day. That stands for "vagina," so get some.

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